SO Much Has Happend This Past month Man!!...
ON March 30th My Younger Brother Got into a really bad car
Accident with 4 other boyz He broke his Jaw in 2 place and
had to get surgery (he had to get 2 metal plate to hold his Jaw together
he also Injured His left Arm His nerves Got messed up and he is Not able to move his arm.. he is gonna need mad physical thearapy in order to get movement back... But Thank God He is Alive and DIdnt get Really serious LOng term Injuries 2 of his friends Had to get hip replacements ...
Im just happy That he is Home and doing So much better Is even starting to get On my nerves again lol so thats a good sign!
Yesteday was madd crazy for Me In ma Hood at the chrurch a Padre from DR Had come to do a Misa de Sanacion..well I dont usually Go to church Becuz I feel that so many People are so fake and currupted that go to that chruch I belive and pray to God In my own Crib On my bed I dont feel that I have to go To church to do so...
My mother is one who goes to church every sunday! well to get to the Point Ive Always been faithful to gOd BUt ever since my Bro's
Accident Ive Been More Faithful and thanksful to hIm for giving My brother
and his friends another chance at Life cuz everyone knows just by lookin
at the car we dont know how they survived!
SO Yesterday I go to chrurch and im just thanking god teh whole for my bro
People are singing they have a live band and whateva Then the father
begins to walk around the church with christ in his hands Its Liek a symbol of him.. so tehy are yelling like he is here and we can feel his Presence And i begin to start crying just praying for my brother and his arm I open my eyes go to touch the symbol and i Began ODDDDD Crying Like crzy my mom was holding me and i was screaming and stuff.. then i calmed down...I understand They say the Holy spirit touch me but You the feelin I got was Unexplainable.. It was in a way scary Cuz .. i dunno it was wierd lol.. after i calm down Im a lil embarrassed and i sit down my mom was like dont get embarrass u got touched but christ. Lol the thing is This is the 3rd Time thas happen It happen twice at a retreat i went 2 a few yrs ago.. But even tho It sounds Crazy I Do feel Better and Like cleansed Its wierd But i do
I was Gettin into a Lil depression and just confused on what i wanted to with
my life like i just wanted to change i felt liek i wasnt movig up in life as if for teh last few years I been in the same step... But hopefully i will be moving up soon!
well im in school right now and i just finished
taking a math Test and I think I did a good job math is retarded to me Tho
I dont understand how I had math 02 which is the lowest math ever and failed
and I took math 03 now even tho im not really suppose to but i didnt feel like
repeating math 02 but anyways how im in 03 and its madd easy
I be like wtf Yo I dead ass finished a 25 question test today
in like 15 mins lolz shit was dumb eazy i know I got a A+ on it too!
But anyways JAy Called me yesterday out of blue havent spoken
to him in a long as time or whateva he called cuz he found his wife is 3 weeks preggy and i always useto stay asking him when he gonna make
me some God kidz lolz i found that he cute i was one of the
first peeps he called!
I was tempeted to ask bout Angel But i was like ah for what fuck that nigga
Im definalty Definaly Ova Him, i still got love for him But not in the way I useto
And i know shit between us will never be what it was or what not so yeah i have definatly given up on him 100%!!
Blah You can say Im still in teh same situation also when it comes to guys , shit im still freakin single lolz, not that its a prob but i wouldnt mind just
having that somebody around me but hey I guess thats life
when its time for me to be with someone i will be
Guess for now i must just be patient and do me !!
password and i didnt know under what email account i sign on to Lj with so i was
just like fu*k it ill get it another day.. and i just for got bout it till tonight So yea ..
Well Life still the same man I guess my life will never change always the same things in differnt
packages i guess..
Im still in school not doing to go right because i havent been to focused this semister.. But i need to get it together!!...STILL NO JOB Unfortnatly!!
Also I got my tongue peirced last week on sat , i will take some new pictures soon and post them
I will also try and keep up with journal and update more often But Yea Imma be outtie now!
ahh yesterday I got tosee My Lover Boy Daddy yankee Yo he Got Attacked By Girls lol But he signed a picture and gave me a kiss my BOO AHH HE IS SUCH A Freakin Sweet Heart!!Icoudnt get a Pic with Him cuz Frankie Got Lost with all those Girls BUt I guess Ill have 2 wait Till Next time!!
My friend Had sent me this ANd I just LOVED IT Because IT SO VEry TRUE! So I decided 2 share it with My Lj peeps ..
By T. D. Jakes
There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from
Let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into
staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you,
see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
The bible said that, they came out from us
that it might be made manifest that they were not for
us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have
continued with us. [1 John 2:19]
People leave you because they are not joined to you.
And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
Let them go.
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just
means that their part in the story is over. And you've got
to know when people's part in your story is over so that you
trying to raise the dead.
You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you
something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth
believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that
I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give
And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging
Let them go!!
If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong
to you and was never intended for your life, then you need
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains .....
LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and
see your worth.....
LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you ........
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and
LET IT GO!!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs
LET IT GO!!!
If you have a bad attitude.... ...
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel
LET IT GO!!!
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take
you to a new level in Him......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try
to help themselves.. ....
LET IT GO!!!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed .......
LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so
used to handling yourself
and God is saying "take your hands off of it,"
then you need to......
LET IT GO!!!
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things.
GOD is doing a new thing for 2006!!!
LET IT GO!!!
Get Right or Get Left
. think about it, and then ....
LET IT GO!!!
"The Battle is the Lord's!"
During the next 60 seconds, Stop whatever you are
doing, and take this opportunity. (Literally it is only ONE
All you have to do is the following:
You simply say "The Lords Prayer" for the person that
sent you this message:
The Lords Prayer
Our Father, who are in Heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name, Thy Kingdom
Come, Thy Will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day, our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses
forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into
deliver us from evil.
For Thine is the Kingdom, and the Power, and the
Next, send this message to everyone you know. In a
while, more people will have prayed for you and you would
obtained a lot of people praying for others!
Next, stop and think and appreciate God's power in
your life, for doing what you know is pleasing to Him.
If you are ashamed of me,
I will be ashamed of you
before My Father"
If you are not ashamed, send this message...
only if you believe.
"Yes, I love my God. He is my fountain of
Life and My Savior.
He Keeps me going day and night.
Without Him, I am no one.
But with Him, I can do
everything, Christ is my strength."
If you love God and you are not ashamed of all the
great things that
He has done for you send this on.
God loves you and watches over you everyday
Why does This Happen 2 me We are In a New Year Yet SAme Old Things Just keep Popping up for me I dont know.. Ugh I dont know weather 2 Take iT as A sign or what I JUST GET ALL CONFUSED!
SO anyways Last week Jay calls me and He is Like How Angel got Kicked oUt Again and he decided to Move Him To cali so that he can Live with Him and He can Help Angel get His Shit Together Once and for all, Im my head Im like WHY THE FUCK DID YOU CALL ME TO TELL ME ABOUT ANGEL!!!!.. so jay is like HE is Gonna come here on Sat I laready Bought His Tixx Im Liek Great Well Mabey finally Since You teh oNly Good real person he got in his ife You can help Him actually Get His shit togther and get Stable , he like yea so Um i called you 2 tell u so Imma talk to later Ight 1 Im like wow IM MADD HE FUCKIN CALLED ME TO TELL ME BOUT ANGEL! So anywas All week and Weekedn Becuz Of that I was wondering if Angel actually Went through with it and decided to go out there, i was tempted to call but didnt i was like fuck i wont know unless jay decideds to call me So anyways Im like thinkin to myself If i really wanna cut Angel Off I have 2 cut Jay and In a way I would Do it but I dont want cuz Ive known Jay before Angel and He is My BOY!...and I kinda want the ocnnection to angel Even Tho At the same TIME its LIKE I DONT WANNA KNOW ANYTHING or HAVe ANYTHING 2 DO WITH HIM it confusing i know!
SO anyways Today Im talking online With Jesi and on the phone wit nikki so Jesi is telling Me bout her JAy and how she was gonna go see him And im like You dumb cuz U like Him and He dont like u as much as u like him why do u do that to yourself ...etc Imma post the convo....
JESI: Talkin to jay
JESI: He pheeening lol
JESI: Lol he was askin when my bday was an shit I sware he
JESI: I was like yea cuz u told me fuck ya bday
JESI: Lol ima c him monday prob
ME: u a sucia smfh
JESI: Stfuuu if it was angel u would run
JESI: I like him odd so smell it
ME: i dont know why the hell u do that 2 urself
ME: Angel and me went tru 4 years of shit IT od Diff
JESI: I don't kno y u still wanna get in contact wit angel
ME: i dont
JESI: stil ya still went thru shit
JESI: Me an jay went thru shit maybe not year but shit
ME: I want Him Out But the Fact That jay told me
JESI: He tha 1 lookin for me so I'm good
ME: Make me curious and see if his bum ass went tru with it (Write after I type this im Talking To nikki and I get a call On the Other Line and Its blocked and im like wtf.. My uncle irks he laways calling me and its always blocked so Lately I been Ignoring him but it was kinda late so im like let me see what he wants So im like What do u want and i dont hear NOTHIng im like HELLo then I Hear " Hey WHats Up" MY FUCKIN HEART CAME OUT MY MOUTH!!!.....so im trying to keep my composure yet i was going crazy trying 2 tell jay online..
ME: angel called me nowwww
So Im again being a ass and acting like I dont kno who it was when im knew right away im like who is this and he is like wow U never remeber me Im like OOH WOW Wat Up Nigga He like Hey wassup how are you Im like Oh shit so You In cali wit jay He like dont u have Caller Id im like Yeah But the Number came out Blocked he like Ooh But yeah Im here Wit the Palm tree's Im like Thats wassup Im happy U out there with Jay and he like Yeah I knwo Me too I m A sober Nigga Im like For How long he like 7 Days I was liek Oh shit im happy for you Now that you are With Jay You Gonna be sober for a Long ass Time NO WEED FOR YOU!!! lol and we laughed then he like yea so what u been up to And through all Of this My heart is Beating My hands are shaking Im Like IN SHOCK od status so he asking me what i been upto and i think i blocked out from the shock and shit so im like wow u in cali U like it and he like I love it its Beautiful .. and he like yo Im gonna call you back I gotta do something real quick Im like Ok lata.. Yo I dead ass went crazy i went to the bathroom and just Tride to contain my self I was shaking and shit and im like UGHHHH why The fuck Does He Have This fuckin Affect On me I HATE IT!!!!!!!! I was Going Crazy My head was Spinning Just wondering WHY DID HER CALL ME?? WHYY WHYY WHYY and tehn madd other hsit flowin my head like iits happening all over again we gonna talk and try to work thngs out then shit is gonna Fuck up, or like It must be meant to be since he keep cuming in my life Everytime I really miss him Or THINK about him Alot he Pops UP EVERY FUCKIN TIME!! then I start reminesing wanting to read the letters he sent me in 2003 and im just nah I gotta Leave th past In the PASt and look forward all he does it confuse me I WAS WISHING HE DIDNT CALL ME BACKand he didnt And In a way I was dissapointed when he didnt call back...WTF is that I know I dont want him to call me back yet i felt a lil bad he didnt I cant Explain it And i dont kno blah Its all So freakin confusing..and i hate how i get when He comes back I get all confused and start over analyzing, and thinking to much bout shit I wish he could call me and ill Be like Whateva like it a nobody callin me ... :*(
I dont kno.. I know now that he is with Jay Im Gonna hear From him ALot I know I can feel It ..Ugh I dunno Im just Gonna Pray Alot and Let God Guide me iN the right direction He KNows Best!
Hey peoples whats up?
I havent Written in my Lj in a long ass Minute you can say i kinda forgot bout it, but i decided i should update a little on whats going on with me even though i doubt anyone still reads my journal lol I dont blame them since I barely Update.....
Welll right now im in my college i came to validate my classes for this upcoming semister, i have 2 take 4 classes so me and my moms come cuz she gotta pay 500 bux sine financial aid doesntcover me fully, so she comes with her and check and her express card just in case tell me how we wait on a long as line to pay and when we get to the window the guy was like we do not take personal checks and we dont except no express cards i was tight and so was my moms she was like shit i know i should have brought my master card so right now im in the librtary waiting for her cuz she went back home to go get the card and come back i feel bad cuz she gotta go all the way downtown from here to go to her school and shit, and she hadnt ate anything so hopefully she eating now i think she prob is cuz she left around 2:00 and it is now 3:00 so she should be getting here soon!... im going to be taking geography, art, history and Math, 4 boring as hell classes uGH! IM happy that this term thought i passed most of my classes with B and i got to retake my mathclass but everything else i got a B im proud of myself!!
Hmm personally Life has Been Ight I guess, cant really complain to much things have been ok,.. Its Time For me to seriously stop being lazy Though and get a Job ITs a New Year and I need to start with a JOb I know Ive said it in the past and havent done shit but Im definatly going to make some moves and get my shit together Im going to Be 21 in May and i need to start being more reponsible and do things for me , after I get a stable job Im definatly planning on moving out and getting a place and Im even concidering to mOve to orlando... I know Its a Big ass Move and A completely different place But I think I would actually like It im looking for change and looking for something new, my homie is getting her own place in Orlando Cuz she is going to start school out there and she wants me to move in with her so Im actually thinking bout doing it not much Holding me back here anyways, just a few friends and my moms , but i can come back and visit beside that I dont have anything here so Might as well go........
My moms is bacc so let me Go pay This Shit for school and Ill Finish Updating lata!
Yeah I know I Havent Updated in a long ass time lol , I kinda forgot about Lj to be Honest... Life is still blah!
Im Exited For the New Year It will be a new Start For Me to change many things and people in my Life! But yes Im looking forward to 2006 and hoping It will be much better year then this Year!!
I Hope ALL of you HAVE a GREAT NEW YEARS EVE Tonight , GET DRUNK , HAVE MADD SEXX AND PARTY!!! hahahaha
EVRYONE STAY SAFE AND HAVE A GOOD TIME!
HAPPY NEW YEAR MY LOVES!
Hey I know I been away from here For A min!! But I been Ight Im madd BaCKED up In school work I been Letting that shit pile up for being lazy and I know that i shouldnt do that shit so In a lil while I must start working on my shit i gott write 2 papers and madd Math work! so yeah i gotta have it done by monday!
I LOVE RENT!! The Best Play/ & movie EVER! Everyone Who Loves Musicalz Should Go watch It the Music Basically writes the Script so if u dont like Musicals You wouldnt like the movie at all lolz But yes I fuckin Loved it and Im planning to go back to watch it Next weekend!
Im not talkin to dennis nomore! so yeah blah Im just doin me dolo!
Thas all folkz
NO Day But Today -Rent
I know i havent updated In a Min Now, But i really wasnt up to Nothing just the same reg shit, School, then Home.. same shit diff diaper...
But yeah im not doing to great in math, Im studying and going to tutoring to try and help myself but its like no use i dont know why i cant get none it stuck in my head no matter what i do i cant get math ugh and that shit stresses me out so fucking much it makes me hate it even more!!
But on a good note me and my mother are no longer fighting she hasnt been getting on my nerves as much as she useto, so thas on less thing im not stressed about, i still cant wait to move out lol, becuase i feel still that one day i know its going to blow up between us.... i just feeel it will happen soon Ilove her and i know she loves me But there are certain things we dont agree on.
On the Guy situation i kiinda cut it off with stephon i had a talk with him and it seems like he has no real dreams on getting out the Hood, and stop hustling and i really dont wanna be with a nigga thats like that i wanna be with a guy who has dreams who wants to do betta for themselfs and get out the hood! Me and Dennis still talk but not like we useto but its kool i like it better this way....... i dont know im a very confusing person and at times i be confusing myself like sometimes i want to be alone and just want to be single and do me but then at the same time there are times that i want to have a man somone to hold me and hug and just be there for me when i need them .. but at the same im scared to fall inlove and getting hurt i dont wanna feel the way i have in the past.......blah
well anyways yesterday i went to Speed to see Trey Songz and JIm Jones, at first it was madd kool we was dancing and buggin out or whateva but that club is madd disorganized cuz they let madd peeps dance on teh stage before the performance and by the time they had to perform there was no room for teh peeps on stage to get out cuz peeps was crowing arond the damn stage you i was madd smoosh and was gonna fight sum bitch that was beasting to move up i was just waiting for her or her friend to pop off.... but even tho i was sqooshed i was waiting for a min for these niggaz so i didnt bounce, jim and trey came out around 2 sumthin and omg jim jones is one sexxi scruffy nigga haha he looked madd scruffy and crusty But sexxi at the same time lmaoo.. nigga was High as a motha fucca, he had a blunt in his hand the whole time nigga was perf lolz, then Trey Came OUt OOOH WEEE BANGIN!!! that boy Is OD sexxxy!!! and he was killin it when he was singing , then he kept looking at me i was GASEd lmfaoo im not even gonna lie he kept lookin and sum girl next to me was like i see that he keep lookin at you its ya eyes and i was dying hahaha, but yea he sexxi and he could sing and I love the Eye Contact He be doing yo he be staring hard into ya eyes .. and thas wassup lolzz
But yea Ill try to update again pretty soon!!
thas All folkzz